I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
