I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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