I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
