I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
