by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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