She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
