We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
