i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
