This is not my ceiling
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
