You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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