Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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