I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
