i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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