forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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