I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
