Your tits are I can't wait for
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
