so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Are we still banned from the library?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
