Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
