Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
