My room smells like vodka and shame
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
