there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
