He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Enjoy the penises
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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