this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
