I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
