summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
