On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
