Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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