I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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