she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
