I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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