we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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