She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
