i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
