Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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