What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
