and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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