sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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