hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
