sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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