I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
