dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
