she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
