You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
