That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
