If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
