I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
