Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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