She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
