Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
