I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
