As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
