After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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