are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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